Should Animals Be Used In Circuses? Social Justice Issue Discussion

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Should Animals Be Used In Circuses? Social Justice Issue Discussion

My written paper needs help.

Please turn on track changes.This is my third version which below still needs improvement.

Thesis Needs Improvement

Goal: Thesis statement is provided, but needs improvement (lacks one of the elements)

Feedback

**Should remain unbiased. Your stance on the topic shouldn’t be stated until the conclusion.** You provide a thesis statement, but it needs improvement. Thesis statement should: be clear and concise be consistent with or follow logically from the framing of the issue (that you provided in the background) gives a map of what you will do in the paper

Quality of research

Goal:

[a] provide both a Pro and Con position on the topic

[b] include at least 2 perspectives in each.

but the research needs improvement (addresses most of the points that should be in each perspective, but evidence is thin).

Good, Needs Improvement

**You seem to discuss multiple different perspectives, but don’t provide much solid research support** You provided a Pro and Con position on the topic, but some improvement is needed in your research to address the perspectives within each side. Keep in mind that each perspective should include the following: Explain the perspective well Who are the general proponents of the perspective Provide sufficient information to support each perspective Compelling evidence from legitimate sources is given (quality of sources is graded elsewhere); At least 1 peer-reviewed article supporting each perspective Research is in-depth, attempt to go beyond the obvious

Conclusion

Goal: Conclusion is satisfactory but could be improved.

You needed to restate your thesis and provide a summary of the pros/cons. You provided a conclusion that is of satisfactory quality but needs improvement. The conclusion should include the following: Restates the thesis Discusses which position is more persuasive and why. This is not simply an opinion but justifies which position (or combination of the positions) is supported best. Shows critical thinking. For example, synthesize ideas or propose new a position/solution or go beyond the obvious